The things that got me threw the school year
1. God. --- When I was thinking about what to put on this list, I didn't know if I was gonna put him down. Cause I've been falling farther and farther away from God, And he doesn't seem to be helping. It's cause for the first time in my life I questioned why I was on this earth. Whats the point? God made me, but why did he make me? I saw a lot of things this year, and not one time did I see God in them. (You could argue I didn't see him, because I wasn't looking. And I would for the most part agree with you.) Then I was watching a youtube video of the galaxies and all the stars and every thing, and for the first time in a LONG time, I saw Gods wounder. But let me be honest, I am no were near being all better. I've just started seeing things different, very different.
2. Mom. --- My mom is the best! I couldn't have asked for a better mom! She is very understanding. And I love her so much. Shes the person I look up to the most probably.
3. My friends. ---- first of all Beth! She is the best friend anyone could ask for. I'm one of the lucky ones, some people don't have best friends, but I do, and shes the greatest! Then Emily and Becca--- I love those people! Taylor and Katie--- Man, they are some awesome kids (as Taylor would say, she always says 'kids' lol.) Then Echo at church. Shes been going threw a lot, and I think she was depressed a little like me, cause she got made fun of really bad at school (it made me want to beat some people up!!!)! It helped to be able to help someone. Cause I saw so much cuts and bruises, and to be able to maybe help a cut heal was awsome!
4. Pastor Grant/ guitar playing. --- Grant is the best guitar teacher in the world I must say. He's a really cool guy.
5. Youth leaders. ---- Jen. Margie. Lissa. Jill. Cris. They all rock.
6. Happy music. ---- Lots of owl city (Fire flies, Hot air balloon, strawberry avalanche, Rainbow veins.) and Barlow girl and super chick. I remember telling my mom one day in the car, that I wished there was a radio station that just played happy sounding music, so you could go there when your feeling sad.
7. My family.---If it wasn't for my family, (and fear of what would happen to me after I died,) I most likely would have committed suicide a long time ago. I didn't want to hurt my family.
8. Books. --- Just taking me away from some place and transporting me into another world helped a lot.
9. Barlow girl.---- I know I've already said this, but They really are cool people, well from what I know about them, I don't really know them, so I couldn't tell you.
10. Being home schooled. --- Dude there was NO away I could have gone to public school this year without failing or dropping out. I was just WAY to depressed.
11. Having small group, were I was forced to talk lol. --- Jill is really good at asking you simple yet at the same time hard (?) questions, and it helped you brake out of your shell.
12. Poetry. --- I never realised how things could be so pretty before I was introduced to poetry. And not all of my poetry is sad, the ones I have on here are sad, but I have some other ones that I'm really proud of that aren't sad. I'll put them on here sometime.
13. Children, or I guess I should say innocence. --- Nothing fills better for me to look into the eyes of a child and see all that innocence! I've learned more from children, than a teacher has ever taught me in school! I've learned how love can be unconditional, I've learned self control (Ya when you bring your new guitar out and a kid accidentally scratches it, It takes some self control not to yell at them, though for me, I don't really care. I LOVE when kids play with my instruments.) I've learned how to throw a base ball right down the middle of home plate :), I've learned how to teach, I've learned how to play pretend all over again, and I've learned how to love unconditionally.
14. This blog thing. --- It helps a lot to get this stuff off my chest.
15. Hard work. --- I've learned that if you say your gonna do something, you have to do it, even if you don't want to.
16. Random people sometimes --- You know those people who just give you a smile, or say hi, or go out of there way for you, even thought they don't even know you. I would probably say they don't even know how much it matters to you, but it does. Like today I was walking into "Bob Evens" to use the bathroom cause we had just finished eating with Peggy at steak n shake, and I drank 3 vanilla cokes lol. So when I was walking back out the guy who might have been 17 or 18 said "Hi" and I said hi back, then right after he said "Bye." And I repeated it. It wasn't even that funny, but we cracked up laughing. Just things like that. Oh and when we were at steak and shake, there was this little baby who was black, and had black hair (almost like an Afro) and she kept on looking over at me and smiling, and then I would smile back, this lasted almost the whole time we ate ,we just looked at each other and :)ed. Occasionally I would wave. It made me fill good.
17. Putting one foot in front of the other. --- Just taking one day at a time. As Jill (my small group leader) would say, don't worry about tomorrow, each day has enough worries on its own!
-Sarah
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