A purple elephant jumped over the cell phone in the sky.

hmmm......
I'm very lonely right now. I don't know why. I mean I went to youth group at kingsway today and had fun. Met some cool people. Saw Beth, Taylor, and Matthew. (They're cool kids.=) Talked to Chris (the youth pastor) and he asked me about my guitar playing and stuff. But I fill pretty lonely right now still.
Today was a pretty hard day, my brother had a friend over named Ben...and I don't know. Sometimes I just wished he wasn't autistic, like he's 14 but he still cries like he's 2 sometimes. And he gets really upset, and you know, it's hard to have friends over cause you don't know what he's gonna say or do. =(
I love him and all, but I just wounder how my life would be different if he wasn't autistic, but he's done a lot of good for me to.

Another topic. When I was in 8th, 9th, and 10th grade I was super depressed, and stressed and stuff. I told him (my family doc) all the symptoms I had (cause at the time, I didn't know what was wrong with me.) My body ached, my arms tingled, I was tired all the time, I got head aches, my stumic hurt, my heart raced, I was short of breath, and we went threw all this stuff to see what was wrong with me. I was reading something, and those are all symptoms of stress and what not. When we went back there, when I realized I was depressed, he didn't do anything. My mom took me to a different doctor and the doctor had me fill out these test. It turned out I was super upset, I remember praying to God to just let me die in a car crash or something.
I got the feeling from my dad that he just wanted me to get over it, and he was mad at me. I remember him telling me "it's just only gonna get worse when you get older."

But I'm sorta better, we'll see how the school year goes. But I was just wondering, why didn't anyone help me? Why did I feel so alone every time I went inside my church? Everyone just seemed so fake. Especially the grown ups. Walking around smiling ALL the time. And at school, I walked into the FCA (i think that's what that's called.) but all the people in there, were the ones mean to me in the hallway. They were the ones throwing food at me in lunch, and laughing at me in the hallways. =(

But anyways, I shouldn't feel alone at my church. And I shouldn't feel like every time I go in there I have to fake a smile and pretend every things all right when it's not. But anyways....

-Sarah

Ice cube showers.

I just got out of an ice cold shower... literally, there were ice cubs coming out of the shower. It was quite a nuisance, I mean have you ever had ice cubes showered upon you? It's distressful. Any ways it was refreshing, and it elicit memories of the Chicago missions trip......

All the teenagers were at the beach, and the water was SUPER cold. I mean, it was piercing... my bump turned purple. But it was really enjoyable and pleasant. All of use had the VBS songs stuck in our heads, so we started singing them in the water...and doing the motions, which was pure awesomeness. So we decided we're all going to swim out to this pole like thing. So we start going, and it is freezing! But Beth is the first one to do it. She just starts swimming, she gets to a point were she can't touch the bottom, but she keeps going. And then we all join in (All the girls did, I mean). It was so much fun. The water was so invigorating....hmmm, maybe I should join the frozen polar bear club (or what ever it's called.) But that trip was so good, everyone was so convivial. It kept me fastened on whats really crucial- spreading the gospel, helping others, spending time with God, sharing a bathroom with 14 other people...wait I don't think that's one of them. But we did do that, which wasn't that bad for me. I can take quick ,cold showers if I have to............Why does everything I write keep coming back to cold water. It's like this kid at vbs, I think his name was Joshua, who had a fascination with water. I had this bottle water out next to my stuff in the corner (I had the lid on and everything, so the kids wouldn't spill it, silly me ;) and the next thing I hear is "Watch this." I turn around, because when you hear a kid say that they're either about to die or do something stupid, and he had unscrewed my lid and dumped the water out. "Why did you do that?" I ask, his response "I don't know." lol. That was funny. Then later that day he dumped his own drink out, and then the next day he put a pen in Beth's water bottle. Man, I had so much fun on that trip!

One of the coolest things was, when we were out side playing games, and two little boys curl right up next to me. One didn't feel good, I don't remember his name, and then the other one was Elijah. Then earlier that week Danny came and curled right up on me, it was sooo cute. I really needed that to, cause I was having a hard time the first two days, and he kinda pulled me out of my funk. That was such a fantastically, awesomely, stupendously, sensational, week. -Sarah