Cuts and bruises.

Today I told a girl at my youth group that I was depressed. I've been depressed for about three years now, and I don't have any hope of it going away. I just don't see how it can. And I think my parents think that I fill sorry for my self, which isn't always true. I fill sorry for my brother, I fill sorry for my friends that are hurting, I fill sorry for my parents, I fill sorry for my sister, and I fill sorry for a whole bunch of other things. It's not all that I fill sorry for myself. I think life just sucks in general, I don't think just my life sucks, I think all of life sucks. It's hard to say exactly what I fill. And my parents want answers, "Whats wrong with you? Why do you fill this way?" I wish I could tell them, but the thing is, I don't exactly know whats wrong. It just seems like life isn't worth living. I don't seem to get satisfaction out of anything. I don't seem to fill good about anything, except when I'm with Beth, and her friends. And I don't want to rely to much on that, because their only human and will let me down some time, you know. I really want to get better, but I don't know how. I found out today, that one of my friends cut themselves before. It made me fill so sad! So much hurt all around us, how can anyone be happy with all of that. My little sister, wants to be me. I wish I could make her understand how much better she is than me. Shes great in school, works super hard, puts up with SO much, but yet she wants my life. Shes only 11 but shes starting to get sad, I just don't want to see her turn out like me. -Sarah